se7en

So Kervin and I were watching Se7en on Sunday night and it got me to thinking about the reality behind the Kevin Spacey's mentality. I'm not saying I agree with killing people lol, but I can see why he was so indignant as a fellow human being. Just in case you don't know, the 7 deadly sins are sloth, greed, lust, envy, wrath, gluttony, and pride. If you haven't seen the movie, check out the clip so that you can understand where I'm coming from.

Ok so before you think I'm some kind of maniacal, meticulous serial killer, let me explain. I don't think the way he went about it was cool (He's a little bit of a contradiction himself with the slaughtering and torturing and everything, but whatev.), but a lot of people feel like they don't need to answer to anyone and do whatever the hell they want.

Now I'm no saint, so it got me to wondering about the 7 deadly sins that I have in my life. If you know me well, you know that sloth is totally me LOL. I have no problem just laying in bed all day, watching TV, eating, and just sleeping! But as I'm joking about that, I know that there is one that I have had a struggle with for a very long time: envy.

Now I'm not a maliciously envious person, where I'd ruin someone else's hustle or life just because I hated them that much or because I was that jealous. It's silent and internal and never, ever acted on. Now that I'm in my mid-20s (OH LORD HELP ME!!)I can be real and know that that's one of the aspects of my life that I need to work on. It comes and goes, and thank the Lord I don't live a totally envious life. God gave me my life for a reason! He didn't want there to be 2 of the same people and if he wanted me to be them, he would have made me them.

I have to correct something..I said that my jealousy was never acted on...NOT TRUE...I feel like blogging about it and trying to improve and better myself is acting on it. So I'm putting my envy (soon to be ex-envy) to work...by eliminating it.

so freakin cool

ahhhh

so weird

so inspired

so me

damn why didn't i think of this lol

disclaimer: i promise that this whole blog won't be dedicated to fashion lol

Brand New

This is all brand new to me and kind of done on a whim. I don't know what direction I want this blog to go in, so that's why I just named it my name. It's just me. I've been so inspired by so much lately and I felt like I was just brimming with ideas and images and thoughts and words, so what better way than to get with the times of 2009 and blog. Just a warning: I'm random, scattered, and a tad strange, so bear with me. This is an entry to the way I really think, the way my mind really works. There's a feeling of anonymity, but also vivid exposure as I convey my thoughts, yearnings, longings, and all those other words that mean "how I feel today."

Stay tuned...if u dare. It won't be easy (probably for u to read or for me to write), but I do believe it will be entertaining.

Ok.

I've been talking to one of my oldest friends tonight for like 2 hours. We've been kind of out of touch for a while and I'm actually really happy and fulfilled with the conversation that we've had. I've missed our talks dearly (We've always been able to talk about any and every single thing that could possibly be talked about.) and I hope that tonight is the start of that again. We've been friends since we were 10 and it would be a shame to let a 13 (almost 14 year) friendship dissolve for no real reason. Love u RR ;)

Since I've been alone ALOT lately, I'm really appreciating the people in my life that don't ever seem to really disappear. Those are the people who I WANT in my life and that I actually do need. It's only a handful, but I've never been one of those people to need (or want) crowds of people around. I miss them all being here in loner/loser land and want to be surrounded by loved ones more and more as I get older. I get really nostalgic and crack open the old photo albums, love letters, and yearbooks from the "better days" when my life was overflowing with happiness. Why can't I get back to that feeling? Why did I ask that question?...I know exactly why...shitty experiences, growing older, and the absences or addition to certain people that have inadvertently affected me without my permission. But it is my goal in my 20s to heal and mend stuff and this is a great way to get it ALL out and be happy with who I am and to let go of... tHe FeAr :)

Until next time...